Boundaries are an executive woman’s #1 career roadblock—and it's internal, not external. Slower progress comes when you have no boundaries, and they also come when you hold onto your boundaries too tightly. If you’re feeling off-kilter and don’t know why I’m willing to bet it has something to do with your Boundaries.
ThriveWithNancy Podcast addresses the tricky points you run into daily as a woman executive. Nancy Fredericks shares all the secrets she’s acquired as an experienced thought-leader. She’s passionate about sharing practical, insider solutions with women executives to tap into on your way to achieving all of your career hopes and dreams.
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Speaker 1:
If you are feeling off kilter and don't know why I'm willing to bet it has something to do with your boundaries. Stay tuned. Real practical solutions are coming your way. Welcome to thrive with Nancy. This podcast is dedicated to you, an executive woman who wants more from your career, and you're fed up with twisting yourself into knots to make it happen. I want you to know that I see boundaries as an executive. Woman's number one, career roadblock, and it's internal. Not external slower progress comes when you have no boundaries. And they also come when you hold onto your boundaries too, tightly success is finding your sweet spot. Do you hear that your sweet spot? The challenge is that the right environment to thrive is unique for everyone. The good news, the process for recognizing your optimal border is the same for everyone. Only the outcome is exclusively yours. Are you ready to explore lessons? My clients discovered I'm betting. You'll find yourself in at least one of the following four scenarios. And the best part is you can put it into action right now. First career misery index. Let's look at the financial misery index as an example, which is an economic indicator. The federal government puts out for the average citizen to help us understand how we're doing economically. It's calculated by adding the adjusted unemployment rate to the annual inflation rate. When it doesn't appear favorable, many begin panicking about their future finances. Yet even with all the financial evidence, supporting the published results, not everyone experiences. These economic dips as harmful many thrive. Your career misery index is different than the financial misery index in that you control it by what you focus on and the actions that emanate from your observations. And you determine whether you prosper or not. Let's take this into a business scenario. Can you relate to Veronica, a highly successful business owner who hit a swift downturn in her business? It didn't take long in our coaching session to sense her energy. Wasn't the same as our last conversation. When all flowed upward, instead of the optimistic profit filled language, Veronica was currently sounding more insolvency based. We dug into this energy switch over several months. She'd begun paying attention to all that could go cockeyed in her business. It was a subconscious gradual transition that had Veronica buying into the future as threatening, instead of through her natural creation lens. She's the source of her business. As you are with your career, there's a direct correlation between Veronica's thinking and her company's results just as with your career, always center your action and thoughts on what you want to produce, not what would make your career misery index. Have you feeling less than who you know you are or want to be number two, expand your box. How often have you heard career advice suggesting that you get outside your positional box? I bet a lot sounds wise, but hard to implement. Several clients have expressed frustration over the concept saying, how do you get outside? What am I supposed to do? I agree it's more complicated than it sounds a more effective and accessible metaphor is expanding your box. It's a combination of identifying your strengths and passions after all. Why would you take on something uninteresting and then pushing the boundaries outward to include activities that light you up. Unfortunately, as research confirms, women often pick up and spend their time on activities. The organization doesn't measure as promotable or worthy of increasing their responsibilities. Moreover studies have demonstrated that many women don't stand up for themselves, boldly asking for what they want while exhibiting confidence. I know you've already heard from me that in companies, confidence counts for as much or is equal to your skills, ready to see this demonstrated in a real business world case endpoint, okay, to be perfectly precise. This example began a while ago, coming to a dramatic climax. Recently, Sophia was a respected financial customer service manager. As we were discussing the concept of expanding her position, we concentrated on the gaps that would be profitable to her company and stirred Sophia's interest. This quiet unassertive woman slowly mentioned an idea that she'd been toying with for months. The concept she believes will save the company money while improving services. Of course I asked who have you told you already know her answer because you've experienced it for yourself. Sophia didn't feel big enough to present it to any senior leaders. It probably isn't any good. They won't listen to me. Yada, yada, yada, you get the picture. Sophia found her courage, her boss and senior leaders championed and implemented it to great success. A promotion followed YY. What I loved is the internal growth she sustained through expanding her box rather than staying within her boundaries. Or shall we say her comfort zone? Third waiting is rarely the answer. Have you heard of the hundred monkeys effect? In a nutshell, it comes from a 30 year observation research in 19 50, 2 of monkeys who love the taste of sweet potatoes. Not so much the sand covering them one female monkey got a bright idea and began washing her potatoes. Uh, uh, good. Then she taught the concept to her playmates. Others began imitating this never before practice behavior. Suddenly when a hundred monkeys gained this knowledge, breakthrough occurred, ritual, washing jumped to other islands with no direct interaction. The idea jumped it leaped. You hear that correct? Where am I going with this theory? Cynthia was a brand new client who had an idea for five years in the future. I listened, asked questions and thought my client was onto something really significant. Why five years from now I asked she had no logical response after digging a bit. It appeared Cynthia didn't feel she could pull it off right now, maybe in the future. I challenged her to start because as with the hundredth monkey revolutionary ideas, don't wait for your perfect timing. After a much lengthier conversation planning and purposeful tactic design, she launched. What is the result while she doesn't own the program? Yet her fingers are all over the initiative waiting often. Isn't strategically based. Instead it is from a sense of insignificance. Do you want the vague feelings of not being ready or enough or no? One will listen to me to hold you back from the excitement of launching and initiating and creating your concepts. Fourth self care. Recent research indicates that working remotely is saving people nearly six hours a week in time not spent commuting. The thing is these workers spend half of that save time, doing more work for their companies, boundary issue, or did you know that us employees leave 33% of their vacation time? Unused looks like another boundary issue to me. And there are so many more that holds you back. Let me share a discussion I had with Connie. It's important to realize that she works in a field, which she's passionate about and is well respected and is doing good in the world. As she tells me, I'm burnt out. I can't see straight. I know I'm making a difference, but the cost is high, too high. I feel defeated with no answers at first glance. The advice I gave Connie sounds too simplistic. However, please draw it deep inside and then see how it lands. What I said is at some level you've made the decision that the good you are doing for others is more important than caring for yourself. Does it make sense to consciously deplete your energy, to such an extent that you could no longer help those who need your assistance? How effective do you believe you'll be as you choose to put that proverbial mask on those in need first but lose consciousness before completing the task. Connie took this to heart. Interestingly enough, the next time I saw her, there was a lightness to her Cnce she began counting herself as just as crucial as anyone else. Her world began slowly shifting on its ACTIS in a healthy way. Connie is still working on honoring herself. Some days are easier than others and she is on her way to wrap it up. Dr. Popek a Canadian research chair in cognitive neuroscience found that humans have over 6,000 thoughts daily. Are you shaping the life of your dreams through your thoughts or not? I'm all for attracting what you aspire, not for what you don't want. The truth is that both are opposite sides of believing in something to come. Neither is based on absolute knowledge of the ending, good or bad. What you spend time on, you'll draw into your world. Are you ready to pay attention to converting your misery index into your satisfaction index or actively expanding your box? Or the appreciation of waiting is rarely the answer or cultivating self care. No question that transforming your mind changes the results you receive and achieve in your career. What are you gonna do about it? If you found value, I'd appreciate you hitting that like button or subscribe to this podcast. I'm committed to helping every executive woman find her fulfilling, satisfying standing in business. Do you want assistance in examining new ways of responding to your career more fully with a cadre of other executive women? The 90 minute monthly thrive at work mastermind program is exactly for you. And now is the perfect time because the first month is free. Check it out at www thrive with nancy.com/thrive/and don't forget to join through the free first month link together. We'll explore opportunities to bring your possibilities into being no one ever arrives at their next destination alone. Join this dynamic community of executive women discovering their satisfying, successful career, much success, always.