Who's Running The Show?

After all these years coaching women executives, there’s one thing I know for sure. You’re gifted. And your gifts taken too far or underused can lead to your downfall. Gaining insight into recognizing these career bumps in the road will go a long way to smoothing out your career pathway!  

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Welcome to Thrive with Nancy. This podcast is for you, an executive woman who wants more from your career, and it begins with knowing who's running the show. You know, I've been supporting women to write the story of their career success in their own language and in their own vision. I've been doing this for thousands of women through the years, and I've noticed something crucial along the way. Each of you have been created with unique, exceptional talents that when plugged in with confidence and trust will light up your piece of the world. You may be raising an eyebrow in doubt, <laugh> , I get it. As more often than not, you don't feel golden. Don't stop there. After all these years of coaching women executives, there's one thing I know for sure. You are gifted and your gift taken too far or underutilized can lead to your downfall, and that's what we're talking about today. There's an assessment instrument out there called Strengthscope, which I really like. One of their premises is that your passions and strengths become your go-to success formula as they help you gain recognition and praise. So when you're under stress, bump into troublesome challenges or have too much on your plate, you stubbornly hang on to them as though lifelines you tap into exclusively, above, and beyond anything else you may have in your toolbox. Why is that a problem? Because they're not suitable for every circumstance. If taken too far , you'll negatively impact your future. Let me unpack this a bit. Think of your talents and strengths, like a coin with two sides. One is the foundation for your future, all shiny and bright, connecting to the possibilities of who you can be while the other side is dull. Linking you to less than who you were created to be. Had us one rule over the other, through choice and awareness. Giftedness can be taken too far, as I've said before. Haven't you noticed around you or been around naturally exuberant, outgoing executives who take up the room, sucking up the air out of the space so you never feel comfortable sharing your ideas? Or how about that detailed minded C F O who focuses on tactical numbers to the exclusion of people and their emotions? Both these examples show expertise taken way too far. Now, let's pay attention to attributes you may rely on. Number one, women own relationships, and as we know, more of them is better in business. They're necessary for opening career opportunities for years to come. So how can this go awry for women? Well, our definition of relationship building as women necessitates emotional connectivity, which includes various elements such as trust, respect, liking. Well, you've got the picture, and although this is terrific when it comes to our personal relationships, it's why we women have such a cadre of supportive friends in our corner always. It's not the same. When you bring those expectations into business, you can take this too far by expecting a level and depth of emotion in business that can injure you. The reality is, is that company relationships are fundamentally about getting work done. It's a bonus but not compulsory to like anyone. If you back away from any business relationship, and I'm talking about even in the slightest, and yes, I'm counting facial expressions, you are damaging potential influence in the future. It's up to you to keep the reins of your relationship building tactic strategic. Remember, warm and cozy is an extra. You run the emotional show of your career. How do you wanna lead yourself in the future? Two women own empathy. This is true no matter where women resides or what the cultural environment calls for or family influences. According to recently published study in the Journal of P N A S, why generally women are better at recognizing another person's mental state and emotions. Hip , hip hooray for us, what do I mean when I say we women are empathetic? It's the ability to sense other people's emotions and imagine what someone else might be experiencing. This aptitude has many women executives engaging employees in their work activities, which is the forerunner to increasing engagement, advancing creativity and innovation , enhancing internal relationships and aiding in an employee's comfort. Essentially, it improves the corporate culture paramount to overall company performance. Also, it is fundamental to profitability, bolstering in organization's growth, good for business, and don't forget, really beneficial for employees with expanded career opportunities and increased salary budgets. So this is all well and good, but how can this be taken too far? The reality is, is that I've seen empathy extended into mothering management patterns that don't permit employees to grow and take on challenges on their own. I remember one boss who unconsciously stunted the growth of Ruth, his reporting female executive by leaning into empathy way too much. Larry's boss was a badass who struck out callously without warning. Larry handled his boss's undesirable outbursts and backlashes by being the only one to interact with him whenever possible. But this too much empathy harmed his female employee's future who was never allowed to learn by handling an ownery leader and navigating these troubled waters. Or are you a boss who works extra hours because you empathize with your direct employees jam-packed life? Or what about having so much empathy for others that you avoid conflict? Too much empathy. Ultimately, we can see organization as your direct reports. Never have a chance to grow through tough situations or failing and getting back up, or any other indispensable stumbles you had along the way to be who you are today. Three women own hard work. Does your success formula rest on completing the job on time and under budget ? Congratulations. This skill makes you your boss's go-to executive as you check one to do project after another. Off your list, you generate increased production by being dependable, organized, and detail oriented. This action facilitates your boss to achieve his or her goals. These wins bring your boss accolades and expand their career big time. If you are not exploring options to move up into senior management, you have the proper foundation to be a winner right where you are. By doing excellent work, you'll always be buoying your boss's reputation, not a bad thing to be known for in your company, but with a single-minded emphasis on detail. You'll be hard pressed to be promoted above mid-level management, though you'll always be a solid respected employee. However, if you have higher expectations or aspirations for your career, leaning into detail more isn't the answer. It will only hold back your progress. Shifting your attention from projects to a broader organizational scope is absolutely crucial. Senior level management is far less about tracking and assessing production and more about big picture thinking, developing cultural norms that lead to innovation and creativity, enrolling the workforce in large scale change initiatives, fiscal competency, and so much more. Are you noticing anything? None of these are clear cut checking off your to-do list deeds. Instead, they are less definitive. Can you see how digging deeper into one by one project keeps you small? If you want more significant responsibility in your career, you have to move away from your comfort zone into growth, development and discomfort. There are many other areas. Here's a couple perfectionism, yes, striving for excellence is good, taken too far, leads to being emotionally overwhelmed by incompleteness stress and anxiety. Another one is accommodating. Yes, this approach is an asset when building relationships and fostering teamwork taken too far. Agreeableness makes it difficult to assert yourself when necessary. Now it's your turn to identify the strengths, passions, and skills that you assess are your winning formula. See if you are taking them too far to your harm and what you desire your future to look like. Bear in mind that these traits skills are beneficial when applied appropriately. However, taking any of them to the extreme can negatively affect your career. Finding a balance that allows you to showcase all your competencies while escaping the pitfalls of overdoing them is essential to your future success. For more women executive success concepts, check out the free resources at my website. Thrive with Nancy. Here's what I know. If you don't interrupt now in how you respond and your way of being, the outcome you achieve will never change. Aren't you ready for an interruption? If it's time for you, the Your Strategic Edge program is where you and I create a full on partnership to better your professional career and have you achieving your aspirations at www.thrivewithnancy.com/executive/no successful executive ever makes it to the top or even arrives at their next destination alone.